Being a Mac user makes me feel powerless, sometimes.
Like, I talked to my mom today; her Dell PC has started acting up when connected to the internet, and she's worried she may have a spyware problem. She looks to me for technical help, and I'm clueless. "Sorry, mom," I say, "I don't use Windows anymore, and there basically isn't any spyware or other malware written for Macs, so I never have to deal with it, so no - I don't have any idea how effective those clean-up programs are, or which ones are best, or even how to diagnose whether you really have a problem."
It's tough. I feel bad. But I guess I'll have to live with it. posted by Miles 11:05 AM
I woke up this morning to a landscape covered in snow. Jess & I went up to Vermont for the weekend, to hang out with my dad & Ruth at the house in Danby . . . and though I knew it was going to be chilly, I didn't expect snow. It's only October 23rd. But snow we got; summer's definitively gone, and fall is on its last legs, here in New England. posted by Miles 11:48 PM
The frustrating thing about to-do lists is when they just keep getting longer as you work on a project, rather than shorter.
In other news, there's a new Liz Phair album out. iTunes tells me I listened to her last album about 37 times. So, excuse me while I go download it . . . posted by Miles 3:49 PM
I don't remember how it came up, but last night I was reminded of this program I heard of when I was an undergrad, that calculates pi by computing its own area. My memory was hazy, but I managed to navigoogle my way to a wikipedia page on it:
#define _ -F<00||--F-OO--; int F=00,OO=00;main(){F_OO();printf("%1.3f\n",4.*-F/OO/OO);}F_OO() { _-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ _-_-_-_ } (Okay, I can't get the spacing to come out right at all; properly formatted, it actually does look like a circle. Look at the wikipedia page.)
My new roommates (both programmers) were agog, and we spent some time trying to decipher it, last night. It's pretty neat; this program won an award for "Best Abuse of the Preprocessor", and deservedly so. Here's what we could make of it: The #define line at the top defines the "_" symbol to mean the statement/fragment "-F<00||--F-OO--;" . . . so on compilation, that statement is substituted in everywhere the "_" symbol occurs in the main program (or, actually, in the F_OO() function.) Because of the "--F" and "OO--" clauses, every time this fragment executes, it changes the values of the (globally defined) variables "F" and "OO". Somehow, it does so very cleverly, such that F comes out to the area, and OO comes out to 1/2 the radius. I think. Actually, in no way do I actually see how it does that. But apparently it does.
For the second year in a row, my Ragin' Rhinos are the Zen Holist League Champions!
Boo-yah! Who's your daddy, Dave?!? :-)
How did I assemble such an awe-inspiring fantasy baseball squad, you ask? Pujols, Tejada, Bay, Cabrera, Ramirez, Lidge & Wagner on the same team? Absurd!
Long, hard work, my friend, and serious devotion. My payoff? Nothing but bragging rights. So . . . I figured I'd better brag a little. posted by Miles 8:44 PM
I've been meaning, for a while, to install a nice X11 window manager on my iBook. A part of what makes OS X so cool is that it's based on UNIX, so it's nice & easy to run unix software (in my case, analyzing fMRI data) on a server, and have the interface appear nicely on your Mac. OS X comes with a basic unix window-manager built-in, that shows unix stuff right alongside all the regular mac stuff (like Office, Safari, etc.); sometimes, though, if you're doing intensive unix-based work, it's nice to have a full-on UNIX desktop.
I thought this would be pretty straightforward: install Fink, and then use that to install Gnome, and voila.
Not so, really.
It turns out there's a pretty decent lag in development, such that there aren't yet binaries ("executables; what you usually think of in terms of software that you install) for Gnome, for OS X 10.4 (Tiger). Actually, there are, but only for some components (packages) of Gnome, and when I did what I thought was a basic install, nothing actually worked. I wasn't able to find any documentation to tell me what all I need, and there aren't binaries for the "bundle-gnome" package that's supposed to give you everything you need, nicely wrapped-up. And the source code is listed as "unstable".
Okay, no problem, I'll install from source & compile it myself, instability be damned.
Oops, that means I have to go install the XCode Development Tools.
Alright, all set. Go!
That was about 6 hours ago. It's still humming away, working on compiling things. The extra-fantastic thing is that there's nothing like an overall progress-bar to tell you how far along in the process you are. Who knows how long this will take? And who knows if it will actually work, in the end, since it's "unstable" source?
Open source is . . . great.
* * * *
Addendum, the following morning:
It didn't work. It finished compiling, but crashes without really getting anywhere if I try to run it, and leaves behind an unruly mess of processes.
So, I thought maybe I'd try to figure out how to just install the "enlightenment" window manager, without gnome. I looked on the Apple support page, to see if anyone had posted to a discussion board about doing this.
Jess & I went to see War of the Worlds last night. There's one brief scene, only an image that flashes before your eyes, that is on my mind this morning: as refugees pour out of scorched cities and towns, we see two people pushing a cartful of books. This imagery has been used many times, but its power is undiminished. I grew up on this stuff, and with perspective I see this: science fiction is responsible for my deepest, most universal love of humanity, our achievements, and our understanding of the world. Some part of that has survived all my efforts at labored objectivity and rationality, and my psychology-inspired, sometimes depressive realism about human nature. I'm glad.
And I'm humbly grateful, on this 5th of July, that I get to walk in to my office and work, in the smallest of small ways, on adding to that understanding of the world. posted by Miles 5:58 AM
I've been "bad" about blogging, lately, but it's actually a conscious thing. When I began blogging, I didn't give much thought to maintaining anonymity; I've long tried to live my life as an open book, and blogging seemed like a good way to capture that spirit. Why try to be anonymous? I've never been too worried about stalkers, and really, who would care, if they didn't know I was me?
I started worrying, a little, about my lack of anonymity, when I published a paper, and around the same time realized I'll be looking for a job in a couple years. There is a reason people project different images professionally & among friends; neither image is a false representation, each is just incomplete, and each serves a different purpose. It makes me happy to revel in immaturity, sometimes; I talk to the dog in baby-talk, I get drunk & dance while standing on the couch, I rev my engine & accelerate to 60 in second gear (caveat: never while drunk!), I goof around and talk like I'm Ice Cube, amongst friends. Am I ashamed of any of this? No. Hell no. But I wouldn't do any of it while on a job interview, either, and that's the thing . . . without anonymity, this blog can be printed out and distributed, stapled to my vita, if whoever is considering hiring me is sufficiently inquisitive.
I think that if I could balance things out, so that the blog gave a full reflection of both my professional & personal life, that would be a little more okay, and I might say "fuck it, let them judge me as a whole." However, there impediments to that in some (perhaps unfortunate) realities of how science works. If I have a study I'm preparing to publish, I can't blog about it in any substantial way, without jeopardizing its publication; you can't have published work anywhere else, first, if you want a decent journal to publish it. If I have an experiment I'm beginning work on, I can't blog about it without risking someone scooping me; the reality is that there's "intellectual property" in science. In an ideal world, science is an ego-less search for truth, and there is a free & flowing exchange of information, and I honestly try to promote that as much as possible, offering my thoughts freely, trying to build collaborative, cooperative relationships . . . but the truth is that I will fail as a research academic if I don't carve out an intellectual space to call my own.
So, those are my thoughts for today. I can't say what I'll do going forward . . . I'll have to give it more thought. Maybe there's a balance that can be reached. If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear 'em. Yes, they may include "You're lame! Stop taking yourself so seriously and just write!". :-) posted by Miles 12:42 PM
There's no feeling in the world quite like hitting a fastball right on the nose, feeling that perfect, solid jolt of contact, hearing the crack of the bat, and watching the ball rocket into the night sky.
I tripled, tonight, to dead center, in my only at bat of our season opener.
All is right in the world. :-) posted by Miles 1:44 AM
There once was a time when I did not define the quality of my day by my productivity.
An old friend made me step back, today. We ran into eachother at the gym, and after friendly hello's she just asked: "So, how is your life? Do you have peace and clarity?"
Such directness is admirable.
I stumbled around a bit with an answer. It was an enlightening stumbling, though. No, I don't have peace and clarity; I don't prioritize them, I prioritize energy, and focus, and productivity. Because of the mania I see in people around me who I admire. Because it's what expected of a graduate student. Because, as they say, you can rest (in peace) when you're dead. Because I want to be accepted? No, I said, because I want to prove to myself that I can be that kind of person. Bullshit? Who knows.
But the truth is, I do feel like I'm swimming against a current.
And maybe . . . maybe I should just be who I am. Who I was. Because I think people liked and respected the me that valued peace and clarity. I did. I still do.
Listening: K's Choice, "If You're Not Scared" posted by Miles 9:27 PM
I just had a delicious dinner of Tapas with several other graduate students and one of the top researchers in the world, in my field. Luckily enough, I had a few glasses of their very tasty sangria along with dinner. Luckily enough, I also set up a meeting with The Man for tomorrow, to discuss a new experiment we're collaborating on, and to show him the stimuli I've come up with.
Or, will come up with. Tonight. If the sangria is unable to stop me.
Woo-hoo!
(ah, well, maybe they'll just be funkier arrays of circles & squares than they otherwise would be.) posted by Miles 8:03 PM
Not like AC/DC, Godsmack, or Megadeath. No, I'm talking about something way crazier.
I bought stock in these companies:
POSCO (NYSE: PKX), a Korean steel maker, and Liquidmetal Technologies (OTC:LQMT), a company (co-founded by a Caltech prof) that produces a new class of amorphous alloys that are stronger than titanium.
Check out the company websites. I must be totally nutto. :-)
% scoring for "correct task performance" hypothesis
% sensible for color; no change required
if stim_order(i) <= 4
R(1,i) = -1;
else
R(1,i) = 1;
end
% scoring for "modulating standard" hypothesis, window = 1
% sensible for color; some change required
if i==1
R(2,i) = R(1,i);
else
if test_nums(stim_order(i)) > test_nums(stim_order(i-1))
R(2,i) = 1;
elseif test_nums(stim_order(i)) < test_nums(stim_order(i-1))
R(2,i) = -1;
else
R(2,i) = 0;
end
end
% scoring for "modulating standard" hypothesis, window = 3
% not sensible for color
if i==1
R(3,i) = R(1,i);
else
if i < 4
current_std = (running_total(i-1)+(4-i)*20)/3;
else
current_std = (test_nums(stim_order(i-1))+test_nums(stim_order(i-2))+test_nums(stim_order(i-3)))/3;
end
if test_nums(stim_order(i)) > current_std
R(3,i) = 1;
elseif test_nums(stim_order(i)) < current_std
R(3,i) = -1;
else
R(3,i) = 0;
end
end
% scoring for "compensating for previous responses" hypothesis
% sensible for color; no change required
if i==1
R(4,i) = R(1,i);
else
if sum(R(4,1:i)) < 0
R(4,i) = 1;
elseif sum(R(4,1:i)) > 0
R(4,i) = -1;
else
if stim_order(i) <= 4
R(4,i) = -1;
else
R(4,i) = 1;
end
end
end
end
orthogonality = sum(sum(sqrt(1-corrcoef(R'))));
if orthogonality > best_orth
best_orth = orthogonality;
best_sequence = stim_order;
best_R = R';
end
end
This morning I had what I think may be a really important theoretical revelation about my work - about different types of representation that may have importantly different roles in number cognition, and perhaps importantly different neural instantiations. I was pretty excited when it came together, as I was lying in bed, barely awake; I jumped out of bed, telling Jess "I've got a theoretical revelation, I've got to get up!"
It's a feeling to live for.
Like Busta' Rhymes said: "Woo-hah! Woo-hah! I got you all in check . . . "
Every once in a while, I feel the need to kick Steve Jobs' ass, and I send a comment into Apple's user feedback system. Who knows if they ever get read. Here's what I wrote today:
I'm both a shareholder & a user, and from both perspectives it's maddening that Apple has created this wonderful resource, in AppleScript, and then completely failed to make its benefits accessible to most users. The collection of "Apple approved" scripts available through http://www.apple.com/applescript/ is minimal, and no links to external sites are included.
What I want is search capability across all mailboxes (a la gmail.) A simple google search indicates that exactly such a script is included as an example in the AppleScript Studio documentation but not even script - clearly judged suitable by Apple - is linked to from the Mail AppleScript page, and indeed I've been unable to find a version I can download, ANYWHERE, after an hour of searching.
I understand the value in keeping the core applications simple, for ease of use. But there's also a lot of untapped value in the fact that applescript makes these applications customizable, and CAN make them much more powerful.
The Mac OS X Software link in the main OS X "Apple" menu is wonderful, and takes you directly to a list of 3rd-party applications. This taps the energy of the development community in a wonderful way. What I'm suggesting is a similar link within each core application's "Scripts" menu that will take you to an Apple-managed collection of 3rd-party scripts. This would be SO POWERFUL. Please, please, please! :-)
Thank you for your consideration. posted by Miles 11:56 AM
While I'm here in Albany, I'm sort of taking a "vacation" from work, to study neuroanatomy. Jess' classmates continue to express amazement that I'd voluntarily attend their classes, but it's fun: it's something I've meant to do, and wanted to do, for a long time. Interestingly, though, one of the sources that I'm finding most useful (not to mention addictive) is a free website at the University of Washington, the Digital Anatomist Interactive Brain Atlas. Now, while I do recommend checking it out, because it's just incredibly neat (I especially recommend the 3-D objects section) I realize that just seeing all the names, without knowing or learning about the function in a comprehensive way, might be a little dull. But as a companion to the neuro texts that Jess has, the site is just a fantastic, ideal way to really dig into the anatomy and learn how everything relates in 3-D, something that's really difficult with the complex, messy anatomy of the brain. Especially the quizzes. Damn they're addictive. (Yes, I know I'm a total freak. Thank you.)
Disregarding #4-#6, there are two themes that stand out: (A) I don't like being cold, and (B) I miss backpacking. In actuality, #5 fits theme A, too, because it was used to put up window-insulating plastic sheeting around my apartment. In any case, it's true: I don't like being cold, and I miss backpacking.
I'm in Albany with Jess for a few weeks, now, so the concern about the cold is at least on the rational side of obsessive. The backpacking bit I may not be able to do anything about anytime real soon . . . because of the cold. But I don't know. I'm an "I don't give a f@%*" kind of guy when it comes to hiking & camping, I'll have a warm bag & a good coat, and hell - at least there are no mosquitos, in winter. Maybe I'll do a little exploring of Massachusetts State Forests when the weather's not too god-awful.
In any case, I'm in Albany, and I think my time here is going to be a blast. Jess took me to the histo lab today & I got to play with a real human brain (or two) and skull. That's so cool! She's received permission for me to attend classes with her for the next two weeks, including the skull & brain dissection anatomy labs. While I've done a lot of "virtually" playing with brains in my fMRI work, that was all just picture-takin'. This is something else entirely, and I'm really psyched about it.
Speaking of picture takin', Jess got herself a new digital camera recently (so cool). So, apropos of nothing:
Also apropos of nothing, Jess opened her online store selling hand-sewn greyhound collars this week (yay!) and I volunteered to help with marketing by setting up a google"adwords" account. So cool! I've been longing for something to attempt to advertise on the web for years, but I'm . . . well, far too lazy to actually create a product and launch a business. So this was a golden opportunity! Thus far the google campaign has cost $5 in start-up fees + $1.88 for a grand total of 11 click-throughs (out of ~180 appearances of the ad) and zero purchases. But hey. It has only just begun. And my frequent checks of the hit count over the last two days have been well worth the $6.88 just in entertainment value.
Arrest This Man, He Talks In Maths 
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
