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With your feet in the air, and your head on the ground . . .


{Tuesday, January 20, 2004}

The SOTU Drinking Game

Tonight at my house we will once again be playing The State of the Union Drinking Game. The rules (adapted from here) will be as follows:

1. Whenever George W mentions the liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink four shots of beer.

2. Whenever George W mentions the European Union or the United Nations, everyone must swear in a foreign language, preferably French or German. Anyone who does not know how to swear in another language may instead drink a shot of Bud Light.

3. Whenever George W uses the phrase "Tax cuts", everyone eats a little slice of pie, and everyone "borrows" a shot and takes their medicine later (at the end of the game). For every full glass of "debt", an additional glass will be added as interest.

4. Whenever George W mentions the phrase "sanctity of marriage", the following rules apply: men who are part of a couple should say "honey, can you get me a beer?", and beer should be supplied. Single men must go to the kitchen and fetch beers of their own. Single women may take beer from or force beer on anyone they like.

5. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

6. If George W Bush attempts to make a joke, anybody who laughs drinks three shots of beer.

7. Whenever George W Bush quotes the Bible or uses the word "evildoers" in a sentence, the last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of beer. If he pulls a quote from the Bible about "evildoers," the last person to get prostrate drinks an entire beer.

8. Should George W Bush actually have the cojones to utter the phrase "Weapons of Mass Destruction", the last person to raise two fingers while saying "three!" must take a prepared shot of tequila, along with one of vodka, shout "I knew they were here!" with gusto, and down both.

I encourage all of you, out there, to do your Civic Duty, watch the speech, and play along.

posted by Miles 3:16 PM

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